Lovember the 1st

Assalamualaikum and hello lovelies...

It has been almost two weeks since the last post... 

people keep asking me, am i stopping... am i quitting this blogging thingy..

of course not sweety...i have many things to share along this past two weeks, but i kept myself away because of a reason..

Actually, this is my 50th post.. and that mean, i accomplished one thing..

still keeping this blog thingy alive... well done syera..hehehe

so, this post mean a lot to me, and i want to keep it for a special occasion..

and woila, special post for a special day highly dedicated for a special person..

so, warning to people with lovephobic or any love-related-traumatic, this post contain high intensity of cheesy matters, please leave this blog if u don't want to get the side effects..

don't get annoyed because i warned u earlier...

and one more thing, this post is super long...

right... carry on...

Dear the dearest...

read it with smile...

I have been keeping a kind of feeling (more towards a friend zone) on someone.. relatively over 3 years by that time ( in 2012)..

It's not mean the feeling of love or something complicated, 

but just the feeling to know that someone better..as a friend..

However, there's no concrete reason for me to know that someone better.. 

I kept watching that someone from a distance and me, myself put the 

gap-line between us..just to ensure i'll not falls towards that someone..

Well, there's no highlighted things bout him, but somehow, each time i walked beside that someone, there's a feeling that this someone is the one...

bila lalu sebelah je, macam ada attraction to know that someone better..

lebih kurang camni ar.. tapi ni version cute sket.. 

I tried to deny my feeling.. and people started to misunderstood..

 relating me to someone yang i only considered as a good friend.. not more than that.. that gossips went for years.. 

i thought.. after years past, my feelings will change, but, i'm wrong..

and through out 2012.. many things happen.. and i think, that year i met that someone a lot, for school purposes or accidentally..

there's a few time i thought i saw somehow a signal or kindof a sign, and i know i'm cengeng enough to understand or to give my own signal.. 

Until this one day, our Batch Dinner.. i'm quite busy arranging that event.. 

even on that night, rasa macam the first lady je... hahaha..

 but somehow, my eyes wouldn't let go of that someone.. 

so, i decided, that's it.. my last chance to make it come true.. now or never..

well, this event... rasa nya malam tu i'm being like an Astro satellite...

 giving away signals...

 but somehow, that someone tak ada that Astro decoder la kot..LOL~ 

i'm on the stage most of the time... and that someone is not on the stage obviously...hehehe..that night macam semacam.. a few things buat diriku ini makin cengeng and macam ala2 lampi sket.. and nothing happened.. 

ends there..so, i thought, thats it.. anything won't happen..

 only my highschool memories..

and sampai la masa untuk SPM... a day before SPM, while studying, a good luck message got into my phone and like a miracle, everything happened much much better than expected.. like beyond expectation...

and thats it..

tak sangka, november sudah bertemu november kembali..

 for me, this is the point where the serious communication started..

and i'll remember it as it's so meaningful..

rasa macam baru semalam usha budak seberang kelas.. 

( macam nerd je dak tu..hehehe.. takde masa nak kenal budak kelas lain)

rasa macam baru semalam je marah2 sebab tak ikat tie...

rasa macam baru semalam je lari dari kena candid yg tak berapa nak candid..

rasa macam baru semalam je dok bersila sebelah2 waktu Majlis Anugerah Koku sambil kutuk orang...

rasa macam baru semalam je lawan ping pong di berlainan pihak...

 and tah camne aku dpt pair ngan Iqbal.. haha.. hambar..

rasa macam baru semalam je usha gambar on someone's phone..

owh, he plays that kind of sport...

rasa macam baru semalam je aku umum nama tanda bonda nak jumpa..

rasa macam baru semalam je aku belek teddy bear orang atas dulang.. 

sejak bila dia bertanding, aku pun tak tau..

rasa macam baru semalam je aku tutup telinga tanda protes..

rasa macam baru semalam je dok ukur2 sapa lagi tinggi..

rasa macam baru semalam je aku usik sebagai tanda.. 

dan dibalas dengan signal yang aku tak faham..hahaha..

rasa macam baru semalam aku nangis dalam pelukan cikgu Rodzlina, Majlis Mohon Restu..

nangis bersungguh, pertama kali aku tidak kisah dengan mata yang dihadapan..

rasa macam baru semalam aku jadi tukang ambil air..

 menariknya, tanpa bantah..

rasa macam baru semalam cik pah suruh aku mengagih kek..

entah mcm mana, bukti pertama..

tapi, aku masih cengeng..

rasa macam baru semalam dibuli angkat barang tanpa kasihan..

tah kenapa, umpama hamba sementara.. hehehe

rasa macam baru semalam aku berebut kerusi dengan ucop,

tah mengapa, dihalau ucop, dipelawaku duduk.. hahaha..

rasa macam baru semalam aku terasa hati pada entah siapa..

padahal, langsung tiada kena mengena..

hahaha... semua tanpa dirancang.. masing2 mencuba nasib... 

pengalaman sekolah menengah.. entah macam mana, itu permulaannya..

rasa macam baru semalam ber 'aku' dan 'hang',

tapi sekarang, aku dan hang itu bagai tiada..

rasa macam baru semalam aku dengar ada yang bersenandung...

tapi sekarang, aku pun balun sama...hahaha

rasa macam baru semalam aku meletakkan jarak penanda,

tapi sekarang, tiada..

dia, yang hadir nya dulu, yang menyeri ketika, yang menjamin kemudian..

+

+

=

'someone'  hehehehe~

i know i'm not perfect, but i do know i love u perfectly..

I still remember it clearly..

the first time we met secretly...

how i'm glad to know u...

how i'm shivered to sing..

how there's always a lullaby for me..

how there's always a thing that make me blushed..

how there's always deep talks until one of us asleep..

how there's always laughs, giggles, smiles each day..

how we eventually stare without words..

tears without reasons...

smiles without jokes..

stories, movies, jokes, accidents, holidays, surprises, scenery...

there's always something to make it beautiful...

it's not everyday like heaven... there were ups and downs.. 

i put on fate, i keep on believing, i live on trust..

and yeah...we are still 'we' and 'us'

so, dear the dearest... hehehe.. i wish i can write your name here...

 but, i still waiting for your approval before doing that..

i know there's always ups and downs..

small fights and misunderstood.. 

well, all those little things gave colours to us..

giving us the chance to know each other better..

i did so many wrong things to you..

giving you harsh words at certain..

but that was not my intention..

i'm still a human...

in the process of being a better person..

thank you for leading me with your own way..

thank you for changing me somehow..

thank you for bullying me, that surprisingly make me a better person..

thank you for your comfort words and doings..

thank you for being there... 

thank you for supporting and encouraging...

thank you for looking after me like a father...

thank you for babbling me like a mother..

thank you for protecting me like a brother...

thank you for being a good listener like a sister..

thank you for being a nice company like a friend..

thank you for loving like a man..

hey, u play so many role in my life...

my doctor, my motivator, my ortho-adviser, my nutritionist, my helium gas supplier, my babysitter, my lullaby singer, my radio, my shoe-size-guesser, my sweater, my diary, my someone, my so-much-more, my abang of course..

so, don't u dare to quit..hehehe

stand beside me during ups and downs, bare my childish till i'm grown enough, be with me for the upcoming lovembers...

after all, that someone always abang saya... thank you..

with lots and lots of loves,

Ira

Rely..

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye peeps...

These few days went not that well for me... my health go up and down...

sneezing all over the places.... 

temperature went high and down to the normal repeatedly...

*sigh*

what's wrong with me??

I took few time before i realized that i did rely on uknoWho more than i'm expected.. after the high school years, the journey that i'll go through make me change people around me regularly... 

however, kerap mana pun surrounding tu berubah, uknoWho is still there..

so, when a distance is put between us, the effect is obviously felt..

I just feel so bad as when i'm in hard time, uknoWho was there... but, when uknoWho is in hard time, we're apart... physically, but not emotionally...

proven... 

i just feel so bad when uknoWho is in bad time, i'm not there..

 i'm not sure if i can help to ease, but at least, i'm there to hear..

but distance makes everything look impossible..

i hate to hear him stressed, depressed, tension and such..

i feel like a looser that can't do anything...

so, in this kind of distance, i can just give supports and words..

and hopefully, it'll somehow help u..

anda, if u read this, just tell yourself, i always be behind your back..

supporting u in every way and decision u make..

i know it's kind of hard for u to go through all these..

but believe me, u can do it..

i'm so sorry i can't do much to help..

but, u know right, that i'll always there if u need me..

i'll be the 'ear', i'll be the 'shoulder'..

just don't give up..

stay strong ..

only few weeks left ..

give in your all and enjoy your holidays to the full after that..

don't make me worry..

make me proud...

make me smile..

like always..

i know u can do it..

u are my uknoWho..

no need to worry much

each day will passed...

so, be happy..

to both of us..

good luck...

hahaha... sweet..

love your life guys.... eh, silap... live your life...

p/s : even cool fever is not as curing as u...

XOXO,

uknoWho

My weirdness..

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and nighty night...

hahaha...ni lah masalah nya bila rasa nak menulis datang pepagi buta...

ecehh~ tetiba je plak.. syuh syuh...pegi la jauh2 mode jiwang.. 

jgn masuk sekarang... hehehe...

actually, it's not bout my weirdness pun.. sebab obviously it's not that weird.. it's my preference...is it?? eh....hehehe~  taktau nak jelas kan..

senang cakap, this is my taste... nah.. senang citer...

few hours ago, a junior contacted me, asking few things yang tak berapa reasonable bout me... sort of a pop quiz... 

macam 'quiz-sape-sebenarnya-kaksyera"

lebih kurang camtu la gak  =='

and i was like, whaaaaa~ what are u thinking all this while babe, so not me..

so, let us do some correction bout me, moga2 tader yang salah sangka lagi k..

First question dari juniorku:

' kak syera suka warna apa sebenarnya?? biru ke, merah ke or pink..??'

 ~ tettttttt.... sangat la salah... i'm not into any of those colours.. biru and

    merah nehi2...pink plak, simpang malaikat... my fav colour is brown..

    anything related to brown or choc, that is seriously my taste k...

    brown pencil case, brown bag, brown blanket, brown car....

    anything in brown.. done with the first Q.. don't ask why i like this colour

    bcoz i also don't have the answer..

2nd question dari junior tersayang:

' kak syera prefer what type of music? hard core? pop? Rock?'

~Dude, am i look like that kind of music fan... so big NO... well, actually, i'm

  into country music and a little bit of jazz...hehehe... unexpected sikit kan..

3rd question from her:

' kak syera prefer what kind of style?? modern? electro?"

~ sejujurnya, i don't get your question that clear... but, if i'm not mistaken,

   i don't have any interest in both of your suggestion.. well, i'm into vintage..

   hahaha.. this make u shocked the most kan... why vintage?? i'm not sure.. 

   maybe bcoz seeing vintage things and pics like protecting all my 

   memories...

4th question from her again:

'sis, what kind of guy do u prefer? romantic? caring? childish?'

something like this.....

or like this............

or like this...... heheheh~ berangan syera, berangan....

~ erm..... this Q is kindof though.. how to describe the answer in the simplest

   form eh.. erm, ok, this one word, 'spontaneous'... no acting, no drama, no

   melancholic, no no no.... *ok, terlebih feeling*

   the most important, he's being himself with me...

   dia tak kekok dengan saya, saya tak kekok dengan dia, then its done... 

   he's the one...

5th Q:

' sis, what kind of music instrument did u like the most??'

~ i like all, babe... ALL... from guitar to piano... from drum to kompang.. 

   from violin to gamelan.. from trumpet to caklempong..

   from harp to angklung... anything... hehehe... i love music..

last question :

' sis, if u have one choice to change any of your past, which one do u choose and why?'

~ ok, this is the hardest Q... first, ingat nak kata yang bab begaduh ngan

   budak skolah zaman highschool dulu... tapi tu tak regret sangat sebab

   kitorang ok je sekarang... then nak kata a few things i'd done that make me

   ashamed of myself such as the kfc incident, tapi those incidents pun

   memorable... so, my answer is, none... why? because each of my action

   done before, whether it is good or a mistake, it brings me to what i am

   today... eh? betol ke ayat ni tah.. well, what i mean is, if i don't do any of

   those mistakes before, i may not have what i have now, i may not meet

   people i love the most now and i may not learn any of it like i do realize

   now.. so, why should i change any of those kan...

guys, these are just answers to the questions asked by my junior before that frequently mistaken by others... lagi2 yang bab warna coklat and vintage tu kan.. people are like, 'what?? dah takde benda laen ke nak minat??'

cam tu la lebih kurang... yang laen tu macam, i prefer white gold than the GOLD gold.. i prefer to be in the left than in the right.. i prefer jam besi than jam kulit or rubber.. i prefer lovey dovey novels than thrillers... i prefer Harry Potter than Twilight... k, tu macam pelik skit.. but hey, i grew up wth potters k.. full set, khatam BM + Bi + each movies... hehehe~

i prefer to be beside than to be apart... 

i prefer to wait than to leave...

i prefer to count and not to be counted...

i prefer hurt than hurting...

i prefer believing than doubting..

i believe in second chance...

i'm short, i'm not pretty, i'm careless, i love to eat, i love to sleep..

i'm not good in giving directions..i did mistakes...

after all, that someone is still there... beside me...

sorry for the inconvenience mode...

that is me.. the real me..

live your life guys....

p/s : freaking missing.... counting days...sabarlah wahai hati...eceh~

XOXO,

uknoWho

Take Note #1

Hai..

When i start without a salam, there's always something wrong.. 

yup, something is not right...

i think bout this over and over before i decided to write this down.. 

i'm not complaining, i'm not trying to relate this to anyone or trying to degrade or humiliate someone.. so please, no offence..

erm, first, lets make this clear..

salah and silap is so different..

personal and professional should not mix up..

feelings and fate can't be denied..

don't worry.. this post is not one of those my lovey dovey journey..

something serious is happening.. and i don't like it..

once, in my highschool years, i'm not one of the friendly friend or student or senior or anything that goes the same..

aku tau aku jenis cepat melenting..

 tak kira kawan or tak kawan, junior tak junior, senior tak senior...

when i said it's wrong, no one can denied..

but hell you know, i'm not evil..

i'm not that cruel to ruin your life..

just, put yourself in my position just for a while..

you'll understand my action..

gila kuasa takde dalam list..

jalankan tanggungjawab is my priority..

the way i handle it may hurt people, but trust me, if i don't do it, how to complete it..

aku tau aku tak rapat ngan orang, but hell you know i have feelings too..

sapa kata aku tak sayang kawan or tak sayang junior wei..

budak batch aku.. even aku penah marah korang pun, kalau korang jatuh telentang patah riuk pun, aku tak tinggal camtu je...

kalau aku nampak apa korang buat sebelum2 ni pun, aku tutup mata jugak..

penah tau ke ada 'kawan' korang yang celik...

untuk junior aku... sesombong-sombong aku, semasam mana muka aku pun sebelum ni... aku sayang korang kot...

seteruk-teruk aku marah, tampar, sepak korang pun before ni, fikir balik..

aku marah tanpa sebab ke apa..

takde la aku hitler sangat sampai nak hukum korang tanpa sebab kan..

teruk2 mana korang kena sampuk hantu pun, aku tak lari kot..

sesusah mana pun korang nak sembang ngan aku sebelum ni, kalau korang mintak tolong ngan aku, aku tolong jugak kan... 

tak kira ar aku korbankan masa ke, tenaga ke, duit ke apa, pernah ke aku mintak balas balik.. takkan..

aku bukan ungkit.. aku bukan masuk bakul angkat sendiri..

cuma fikir sekali..

kalau aku cuba berbaik..

kalau aku panggil kau adik..

kalau aku tak pandang jelik..

kalau aku boleh respect..

susah sangat ke nak treat aku as someone u know at least..

aku tak mintak banyak pun dari korang..

just treat me as u want yourself to be treated..

i don't mix my personal life in between, so u too..

don't..

believe me, i don't take advantage on people..

 i don't start a communication for a drama or a cliche or a melancholic..

trust me, that is me, the one u'd never knew before..

ask my friends, ask any of those SAWAN, any of my Shah Alam friends, any of my debate team, i've never once take advantage on people, tak pernah dalam hidup aku nak menjatuhkan orang...

i'm frustrated..i'm mad.. i'm upset..

just think..

jahat tak bermaksud jahat selamanya..

jahat tak bermaksud kejam..

things happen for reasons..

think wisely, and u'll understand..

guys, sorry for my language today..

don't use it in any of your essays or during MUET test k..

Teacher Leez and Cikgu Rodzlina, maaf bahasa yang ku guna tercemar..

live your life guys..

p/s : if u heard bout me from anyone of any stories or 'rumors' should be, just try to think for few times.. am i that bad??

XOXO,

uknoWho

Sei Un Dono

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and hola....

Ok... in jiwang mode right now... 

only God knows how on earth i'm trying to find the best, conducive condition to right this post...

and now, its raining, the light is turned dim, i'm hearing to my mp, on my bed and yeah, it's conducive enough for me to write a jiwang thingy.... hahahah...

and, before i start, i know some of u guys so eeww~ to read jiwang things i wrote.. well, face it.. i am young to say i love someone, and he's the one or complementing the guy or something... 

and i admit it, sometimes i also don't know why i wrote those things..

 but come on, this is life.. 

my principle, these all lovey dovey journey are part of my life... 

and i'm appreciating it.. and it's my pleasure to wrote it in here as when i grow older, i want to read it back... 

whether i'll be glad or whether i'll be regret, it's up to me..

if it's ok with u, read it.. if not, leave it.. as simple as that.. no offense..

and here it goes..

once, it's just a dream of mine..

well, honestly, i'm not that friendly to people during my school days...

 i can't mingle around easily...i'm not good at communication..

i'm not pretty, i'm not smart, i'm not good at anything...

 duhhh~ zaman skolah ku terbazir camtu je...

even people are seeing me like a 'super duper jerk prefect yang macam bajet bagus sangat jadi pengawas kan'...*guys, i heard it even though u guys are whispering*

yup, i admit it, people hate me during my schooldays and only God know how i'm truly are... 

dah2, back to the main story, so, people always being scolded by me... 

including him if i'm not mistaken...hahaha.. 

sorry bro.. memang hobby wa marah2 orang =='

and i don't know when did everything started..

We're completely different...

I saw the weirdness in him and i do have my weirdness at certain,

 but, when the weirdness occur at the same time, it matched each other..

hahaha...pair of weirdos will do..

tah la... it's quite hard too explain it here...just leave it...

hahaha... let it remain like that.. complicated..

but seriously, once, years back, its just a dream of mine..

but somehow, the dream become my future now...

Muchas gracias...

somehow, the list is quite similar to mine, except for the random dancing... 

i'm not into dancing.. 

random responses will do... hahhaha..

recently, i'm talking with a friend of mine on the phone.. a very good friend of mine indeed..

and she's telling me bout her lovey dovey story... 

and i'm aawwww~ all along the stories... 

well, i did hoping for 'sweet-things-couples-do',

 but i'm not that kind of asking..

and when my friend shared pics of them and things between them, then i just realized, we don't do all these.. 

why?? its quite upsetting at first..

but then, after a very deep thought, i asked myself, are those things all u really care... are u sure if u have all these u can happy?? 

nope, i'll not.. what i need is just these...

that's all i'll ask for...

enough to make me happy everyday.. kindof cliche kan.. but honestly, every people have their own way to live up their love life... some people glad with things, some people glad with pictures, some people glad with calls...

each people have their own way..

 people said, we can't live our life based on memories, but i did... 

and it turns out to be my way.. i appreciate memories.. when i miss anyone, i'll try to remember memories between us... that's how i live my life..

so, i'm so glad and happy with what i have right now..

God blessed me enough..

there's nothing i could ask for more...

owh, there's one thing i wish, I wish it'll be forever..

that's all...

how i wished i could wear a dress  like in my old days... hahaha...

anda,

ok, saya sudah segan..

and guys, be happy with what u have..

appreciate it, appreciate them.. things happen for reasons..

believe in changes, believe in fate, believe in future..

live your life..

p/s : its italian.. a penpal tought me a few phrases and this one is the most suitable.. Grazie mille Nella... Thank you...

XOXO,

uknoWho