Assalamualaikum and hi kiddies ^^
So, the last post was like 3 months ago, and finally write a new one.
Good job Syera =='
Anyway, this is another update of my degree life. Almost done, but hell of a ride. Feels like it takes forever to complete the final year, but insyaAllah will end soon. Plus, warning, this post will be damn long, so yeah, bear with me.
1. Study life
Erm, yeah, finally I'm in my final year. To be exact, first semester of my final year (7th semester). And it was damn hard. Lol. 7 subjects, 4 papers for final exam, and infinity amount of assignments and presentations.
Anyway, for final year law students in UKM, we'll be divided into few groups. Each group (or so called 'firm') consists of 5 or 6 students from diff background (races and gender). And all tasks and assignments for each subject need to completed as a group. And that is the best and the worst part actually. The best part is you'll not do everything alone, and the worst part is, you'll not do it alone =='. As someone who prefer to do everything on my own, having a group of people is a tough situation. But I'm the luckiest person ever as my firm mates are those of easy going friends. Easy to work with, no fuss over small matters and very considerate. To make it even worst, I'm the group leader (a very bad one). So yeahhhh...
Anyway, so far, too many work load, but still, still bearable. Still survive. Hopefully.
Owh, if I can complain anything about final year, why on earth we need to print a lottttt of docs. Hahahaha.. like seriously, a lot. All those paper, ink cartridge for printer, paper clips and stapler. Next, the assignments... whyyyyyyyyyyy so manyyyyyy... like seriously, A LOT. A lot is one thing, but at least, dearest lecturers, please pre-plan it beforehand and please don't create new task out of nowhere. Pleaseeee.. (jjebal.....)
And one of my concern these days is about the next step after graduation. Hhahaha, even though I'm far from graduating (like seriously syera, you have another whole semester to think about this) but seriously, I'm worried about this matter. Where should I do my chamber in pupil, should i do it or not, should i choose big firm, medium or small, will there be any firm that accept my bad result. Like seriously, I'm so stress and depressed thinking about this thing.
2. Love life
Hahahaha... as for this one, yup, still same old syera. Forever alone. Lol. Anyway, I'm not in that desperate phase to find that one man, whoever you are. But I am at that point of life where my some of my friends are getting married and engaged, and the rest have found their other half. As for syera, still half, another half still a mystery.. hahaha.
But of course, like other girls, of course I'm praying hard to meet 'the one' soon. Like seriously, 2 years ago, I can go everywhere all alone and feel great and proud to be alone. But nowadays, when I'm out alone, I'm starting to notice (or just my imagination) that everyone, like literally everyone are with their partner and being lovey dovey in public (like seriously guys, do you have to.... ==) couples in cinema, couples in restaurant, couples doing groceries shopping, couples in H&M girls' section (like seriouslyyyy)
But somehow, I'm actually totally fine with being alone. Not that I don't want one, but I'm so done with being played and I'm not in any position to be in a childish relationship. hahaha. Not that I'm not moved on from the previous, but still, I'm scared that those thing will happen again. Dear guys, here's a little advice:
1. If you're not serious about that relationship, don't do it in the first place.
Don't do like 'test water' or 'test compatible ke tak' or 'saja nak try'. If you want to, main The Sims online then. Like serious, it might be easy for you to say 'that's it' or 'let stop doing this' or 'I don't think I'm good enough for you' or 'lets break up' and what not. You have no idea how much your action will affect the girl's life. It takes years to heal and fully move on, or might even never.
2. Jodoh
Owh, and please don't do 'kalau ada jodoh ada la' kindof thing. It's true theoretically, spiritually and whatnot, but boy, when u said that while texting and flirting another girl, what kindof jodoh are u talking bout. Your concept of jodoh and my concept of jodoh are totally dif. What kind of mazhab are you following....
3. If you have another girl, just admit it
Yup, just say it. Admit it. 85% of the time, we knew it already, just waiting for you to admit it. Don't read your list of excuses or you 100 reasons why to say sorry and whatnot. Like seriously, we don't care. Just admit you have another girl, sorry and goodbye. More than that, just keep it to yourself.
4. Don't text your ex and said that i wish i ......
This is the biggest wtf.. hahahaha.. like seriously boy, you damn left me before, said how bad I am, and how other guys would do the same thing that you did, and billion years later, you you text her back and said, I wish I ........ like wth, you have no right to wish anything. Hahahaha. Just keep your wishes to yourself or just give it away to your girl, she's so great kannnnn.
Hahahaha... done emo. Anyway, yes, I'm quite at the lonely side as my cousins are getting married, most of them already engaged, basically I'm next on the line. My closests friends found their other half already, even the guys who i thought would not get into all these things any soon. But, yeah, I believe, insyaAllah, kalau ada, he'll be a great man ever (God is writing the best plot twist ever, better than any kdrama.. hahahaha) or, if not pun, maybe God gave me the chance to fell in love before and thats it. Thats my portion for this life. Hahaha.
P/s: I'm joining the marriage course this weekend in my university simply because they're offering it much cheaper than taking the course outside. Walaupun tiada calon, seorang syera gigih ye mendapatkan sijil. Not sure if i will ever use the cert tho.
3. Friend life
Erm, not sure how to put this into words. Urmm, if you really know me, there are few people that I'm really closed too (that 'are' change into 'were' now). Yes, I have only few friends, and yes, I lost almost all of them. I'm sad, frustrated, annoyed. All at the same time. I'm not sure whose fault it is, but if I have to blame anyone, it would be myself. few situations:
1. One of the closest people in my life. The one that I thought 'forever' is possible. Yet I'm wrong. we hurt each other badly. She tried to fix it, but not sure my heart push the effort away. Whether the wound is too deep, or I'm not sure how to fix it or maybe because i don't feel the sincerity anymore. When everything ended, I cried my heart out, even worse than my break up, got sick, and the next thing i know, she's out from my life.
2. Someone who is far yet so near to my heart. She's always have that one special place in my heart. No matter where she is or what she did. Despite being very busy, i tried my best to be there for her, but at some point, I'm fighting for useless things. Yes, it is my fault. And to make it worse, she started to push people away. I tried, i really do, but at one point, 'you're the one who ask for it' came to my mind, and i decided to put you in the 'next time' list. Sorry, i really do. but yeah, i don't know how to fix it.
But at the same time, I found new friends. Those who I really have fun spending time with, those who don't do all those dramas. I really do appreciate them but somehow, I'm so sorry, they still don't have that spot in my life. I'm getting used to live alone. I'm comfortable this way. But at the same time, I'm worried and pretty much frustrated with myself for being comfortable with living alone. Anyway, hopefully, i really do hope, deep inside my heart, things will workout again.
4. Family life
I do believe I'm getting closer to my family. I really do think so. every single day, I called my mom. Texted my family. The most exciting thing is driving back home. Every single day, I miss home, i miss my parents, i miss their food. I always ask whether my sibs will be home every weekend. I really looking forward of our next trip more than anything. Like seriously.
5. Achievements
I did join few things this semester. And alhamdulillah, the result is beyond the expectation. Both Pitch for Progress and Perbicaraan Mahkamah is not in any of my plan. I'll explain everything in another post soon (hopefully) and the struggle to those achievements (ulang presentation 4 kali and those terrible week of bad lucks) And the best achievements in my opinion is getting recognised my lecturers (like finally.. u have no idea how i really really want this) and gain respect from juniors. I'll explain more of these later.
So yeah, so far that's all the update. How i wish i can share more. But it's freaking 2.45 am and I have class at 9am. Still have few posts that I want to share. I wish i can find some time to do all these soon. Anyway, from these few months, I learnt a whole lot. I learnt so many things and i hope that i'll continue learning new things in the future. Most importantly, I learn to respect others, be considerate, love my family, appreciate people around me and love myself(somehow). Erm, yeah. That's all.
Live your life. Be happy. Learn new things. Be positive.
Respect others. Be kind.
Love yourself.
tibahjah.. hahaha.. idc
P/S: Something big is going on. Can't wait to share the result in few months time.
Sincerely,
Syera
