Lovember the 1st

Assalamualaikum and hello lovelies...

It has been almost two weeks since the last post... 

people keep asking me, am i stopping... am i quitting this blogging thingy..

of course not sweety...i have many things to share along this past two weeks, but i kept myself away because of a reason..

Actually, this is my 50th post.. and that mean, i accomplished one thing..

still keeping this blog thingy alive... well done syera..hehehe

so, this post mean a lot to me, and i want to keep it for a special occasion..

and woila, special post for a special day highly dedicated for a special person..

so, warning to people with lovephobic or any love-related-traumatic, this post contain high intensity of cheesy matters, please leave this blog if u don't want to get the side effects..

don't get annoyed because i warned u earlier...

and one more thing, this post is super long...

right... carry on...

Dear the dearest...

read it with smile...

I have been keeping a kind of feeling (more towards a friend zone) on someone.. relatively over 3 years by that time ( in 2012)..

It's not mean the feeling of love or something complicated, 

but just the feeling to know that someone better..as a friend..

However, there's no concrete reason for me to know that someone better.. 

I kept watching that someone from a distance and me, myself put the 

gap-line between us..just to ensure i'll not falls towards that someone..

Well, there's no highlighted things bout him, but somehow, each time i walked beside that someone, there's a feeling that this someone is the one...

bila lalu sebelah je, macam ada attraction to know that someone better..

lebih kurang camni ar.. tapi ni version cute sket.. 

I tried to deny my feeling.. and people started to misunderstood..

 relating me to someone yang i only considered as a good friend.. not more than that.. that gossips went for years.. 

i thought.. after years past, my feelings will change, but, i'm wrong..

and through out 2012.. many things happen.. and i think, that year i met that someone a lot, for school purposes or accidentally..

there's a few time i thought i saw somehow a signal or kindof a sign, and i know i'm cengeng enough to understand or to give my own signal.. 

Until this one day, our Batch Dinner.. i'm quite busy arranging that event.. 

even on that night, rasa macam the first lady je... hahaha..

 but somehow, my eyes wouldn't let go of that someone.. 

so, i decided, that's it.. my last chance to make it come true.. now or never..

well, this event... rasa nya malam tu i'm being like an Astro satellite...

 giving away signals...

 but somehow, that someone tak ada that Astro decoder la kot..LOL~ 

i'm on the stage most of the time... and that someone is not on the stage obviously...hehehe..that night macam semacam.. a few things buat diriku ini makin cengeng and macam ala2 lampi sket.. and nothing happened.. 

ends there..so, i thought, thats it.. anything won't happen..

 only my highschool memories..

and sampai la masa untuk SPM... a day before SPM, while studying, a good luck message got into my phone and like a miracle, everything happened much much better than expected.. like beyond expectation...

and thats it..

tak sangka, november sudah bertemu november kembali..

 for me, this is the point where the serious communication started..

and i'll remember it as it's so meaningful..

rasa macam baru semalam usha budak seberang kelas.. 

( macam nerd je dak tu..hehehe.. takde masa nak kenal budak kelas lain)

rasa macam baru semalam je marah2 sebab tak ikat tie...

rasa macam baru semalam je lari dari kena candid yg tak berapa nak candid..

rasa macam baru semalam je dok bersila sebelah2 waktu Majlis Anugerah Koku sambil kutuk orang...

rasa macam baru semalam je lawan ping pong di berlainan pihak...

 and tah camne aku dpt pair ngan Iqbal.. haha.. hambar..

rasa macam baru semalam je usha gambar on someone's phone..

owh, he plays that kind of sport...

rasa macam baru semalam je aku umum nama tanda bonda nak jumpa..

rasa macam baru semalam je aku belek teddy bear orang atas dulang.. 

sejak bila dia bertanding, aku pun tak tau..

rasa macam baru semalam je aku tutup telinga tanda protes..

rasa macam baru semalam je dok ukur2 sapa lagi tinggi..

rasa macam baru semalam je aku usik sebagai tanda.. 

dan dibalas dengan signal yang aku tak faham..hahaha..

rasa macam baru semalam aku nangis dalam pelukan cikgu Rodzlina, Majlis Mohon Restu..

nangis bersungguh, pertama kali aku tidak kisah dengan mata yang dihadapan..

rasa macam baru semalam aku jadi tukang ambil air..

 menariknya, tanpa bantah..

rasa macam baru semalam cik pah suruh aku mengagih kek..

entah mcm mana, bukti pertama..

tapi, aku masih cengeng..

rasa macam baru semalam dibuli angkat barang tanpa kasihan..

tah kenapa, umpama hamba sementara.. hehehe

rasa macam baru semalam aku berebut kerusi dengan ucop,

tah mengapa, dihalau ucop, dipelawaku duduk.. hahaha..

rasa macam baru semalam aku terasa hati pada entah siapa..

padahal, langsung tiada kena mengena..

hahaha... semua tanpa dirancang.. masing2 mencuba nasib... 

pengalaman sekolah menengah.. entah macam mana, itu permulaannya..

rasa macam baru semalam ber 'aku' dan 'hang',

tapi sekarang, aku dan hang itu bagai tiada..

rasa macam baru semalam aku dengar ada yang bersenandung...

tapi sekarang, aku pun balun sama...hahaha

rasa macam baru semalam aku meletakkan jarak penanda,

tapi sekarang, tiada..

dia, yang hadir nya dulu, yang menyeri ketika, yang menjamin kemudian..

+

+

=

'someone'  hehehehe~

i know i'm not perfect, but i do know i love u perfectly..

I still remember it clearly..

the first time we met secretly...

how i'm glad to know u...

how i'm shivered to sing..

how there's always a lullaby for me..

how there's always a thing that make me blushed..

how there's always deep talks until one of us asleep..

how there's always laughs, giggles, smiles each day..

how we eventually stare without words..

tears without reasons...

smiles without jokes..

stories, movies, jokes, accidents, holidays, surprises, scenery...

there's always something to make it beautiful...

it's not everyday like heaven... there were ups and downs.. 

i put on fate, i keep on believing, i live on trust..

and yeah...we are still 'we' and 'us'

so, dear the dearest... hehehe.. i wish i can write your name here...

 but, i still waiting for your approval before doing that..

i know there's always ups and downs..

small fights and misunderstood.. 

well, all those little things gave colours to us..

giving us the chance to know each other better..

i did so many wrong things to you..

giving you harsh words at certain..

but that was not my intention..

i'm still a human...

in the process of being a better person..

thank you for leading me with your own way..

thank you for changing me somehow..

thank you for bullying me, that surprisingly make me a better person..

thank you for your comfort words and doings..

thank you for being there... 

thank you for supporting and encouraging...

thank you for looking after me like a father...

thank you for babbling me like a mother..

thank you for protecting me like a brother...

thank you for being a good listener like a sister..

thank you for being a nice company like a friend..

thank you for loving like a man..

hey, u play so many role in my life...

my doctor, my motivator, my ortho-adviser, my nutritionist, my helium gas supplier, my babysitter, my lullaby singer, my radio, my shoe-size-guesser, my sweater, my diary, my someone, my so-much-more, my abang of course..

so, don't u dare to quit..hehehe

stand beside me during ups and downs, bare my childish till i'm grown enough, be with me for the upcoming lovembers...

after all, that someone always abang saya... thank you..

with lots and lots of loves,

Ira