#sad

Hey...

It's 2.19 am now, and i have something in mind that keep me awake, i want to share with someone, but obviously i have none, how i wish i can have one..

So yeah, almost a month ago, i had a terrible terrible night, i cried most that night.

 That was the first time ever i cried that bad...and as for right now, i'm living my life.. Sometimes, it feels so hard with all the changes.. Usually, all the time, i feel somehow protected, safe, cared and not alone.. but then, things happened, and trying to live a new life, is quite awful.. 

like a baby being separated from her mom for the first time..

I'm clueless and unsecured

Losing love is so hurtful..

But on top of that, I lost my best friend, which hurts me the most.

I've never ever ever imagine the idea of losing a best friend, but when that situation happened, I'm affected so bad.

I don't have many best friends.. but surely you're one of them. Maybe you're my Best-Friend-Forever (see how much i value u as a friend ^^)

But yeah, things happened, and I'm sad..

We are different than others..

First, you're my friend.. 

Then, you're my loved one..

And, at one point, you turned out to be my bestfriend too..

And somehow, you're my so much more afterward..

I guess, being a friend, a lover, a bestfriend, an abang, and so much more at the same time is so hard..

Sorry for creating so much responsibilities and characters in your life, when you've the option not to be any on the first place..

But, you always did great job for each and every role, every time ^^ 

except as a pharmacist, u know i hate pills ^^

erm.. want to know what i hate most these days..

I need to hide my tears..

It's hard.. 

But then, don't worry.. You know me well enough to know how strong i can be..

I really did meroyan a lot..

But don't worry, I'm not crazy enough to terjun bangunan ke apa..

You're not here anymore like before, but somehow, for some reason, u're still here, beside.

If i'm getting it wrong, i'm sorry..

But that is the fact, to me, you've never left.

#mym

be safe, wherever you are.

the one who miss her bestfriend and loved one in the middle of the night,

Me.