Memory Lane

Assalamualaikum and hye ...

18/02/2013

Today is my first time writing this sort of thing in a place called diary.. i never did this kindof thing before.. 

so, it's kindof awkward a bit..

However, i decided to write these memories as i know that somehow, one day, i might forgot all these because of my age or who knows if i suddenly lost my memories..

Few minutes before, that person called me.. i don't know how to describe it, but i'm happy.. very happy..

That person is on his way back home..he's checking my condition as i'm alone at home. We talk, we laugh, we giggle.. it's fun.. Too much fun..i don't know how to describe it.

I asked that person if he's ok with this kind of conversation being publicly heard as he's not alone there..(obviously as he's still underage by that time.. someone has to drive the car)so, that person with this 'abang' and that person lil bro..

so, it is public.. but the person's answers sooth my feeling..

That person said, there's nothing to hide as everyone knew about us already.

We talked for a while before that person took a short nap. When that person reached home, that person called me back and we talked some more.Im shocked a bit as we're having our conversation with the person's mother there.. i can here the woman's voice..

Honestly, i'm scared... hahaha.. don't know why.. scared without a reason.

That person gave me advises, try to correct my mistakes and patient with my nagging..

we talk few hours and stop by 4 am.. ( 0143-0356)

* in here (while pointing to the heart) got 5 person..

 my A, my M, my A, my B and U...- McD Kampar

#untukmencintaimu-seventeen

today was a happiness...

18/02/2014

Today, i'm reading my diary back. A diary that got 365 pages telling the stories of me in gaining my maturity in becoming a lady. A strong lady..

There's a page where the words are in gold and silver but still, there're words that're in pink..

I read it again and again and again.. Amazed by how a year had gone..

yup, my tears are there.. I'm not regretting, I'm not angry..

Those tears are reminding me how beautiful it is back then..

I might loss a precious thing, but i did gain so much more..

That one year, taught me so many things..

It's a total lie if i said i don't miss that person..

i did...

but, somehow, that's how life works..

so, dear that person, 

i'm not sure whether u're going to read this like how u used to read it before..

u used to read my blog and even remember some of it..

but it's in the past..

but if, in case, u come across this post,

i hope u're doing fine..

i know u're happy right now..

i know u're just gaining your health back right now..

i know u're struggling with your study right now..

i know u're living your life right now..

and i'm glad u're like that..

i got few words for u..

and take it as an advice from a friend..

people are talking about u..

people will never stop..

so don't feel down..

carry on with your life..

carry on in the right path...

i know u're still a teenager, but being a teenager is not a free pass for u to do everything...

i know, i believe, someday, u'll be a great guy, a great person, a great son..

sorry i keep recap all these memories..

maybe u don't need it anymore.. but i did...

so, live your life there..

insyaAllah, we'll meet in future..

your friend,

Ira.

McD: My 2nd Room

Assalamualaikum and hye guys..

my dream... insyaAllah...

Tengah sibuk2 buat kerja, teringat pulak nak buka blog..

bukak2 je, tengok post boleh kira sebelah tangan.. dah dua bulan kot =='

sumpah kecewa.. hahaha.

jadi, haruslah aku kurangkan rasa bersalah ini..

tulis la barang seperenggan dua...

by the way, i'm in McD.. again...

dah rasa macam family sendiri plak pakcik atas ni... hehehe~

McD dah mcm my 2nd room this early year.. 

semuanya gara2 dah dekat nak final and all these assignment..

 and to make it worst, i really really need good internet connection..

internet connection uitm sucks..

so, here i am.. in McD..

kawan2 siap cop my face as muka McD..

cashier McCafe siap tanya lagi, akak, taknak beli cappucino ke hari ni..

tak kira lagi cashier McD.. soalan dia menusuk kalbu ooo...

'Akak, nak order macam biasa ke..'

hahaha... dah boleh jadi duta McD la kot...

kalau himpun2 belanja wa kat sini, dah boleh bukak kafe sendiri la kot...

and talking bout owning a cafe, i do want to have my own cafe..

In future.. InsyaAllah..

a cafe that will help other students and other people like me..

people who are searching for a place to relax and just move on their life with coffee smell.. hahaha...

waaaa~ selesanya... macam ni la yg diidamkan sangat...

and one more, i love all the memories here..

i just can't forget it...

and yet, still, memories...

takpa, asal wa dapat terus hidup, itu sudah cukup..

my life now, waiting and saving for the best.. insyaAllah..

i'm not a perfect person, but i'm trying my best to be one..

and again, to people who keep asking...

i'm ok... i'm living my life..

things just happened..

and i take all these as memories..

those memories brought me to where i am right now..

being a stronger person..

things happened not because any of us.. it's because of us..

want to set the best future first a.k.a study..

cliche enough right..

hahaha... it's ok.. just correct your perception guys..

don't blame any of us k..

just support..

that's what we need... or at least i need it...

so, yeah, pray the best for me..

and regarding to this matter, so, i hope people understand.. 

when i say no, then no will be the final answer.. 

 i know what the heck i'm doing..

 i know who i can't live with, and who i can't live without..

so, yup, respect my decision..

and don't wait.. i move on and i expect the same with u people..

i believe in 'jodoh di tangan Tuhan' now.. 

who knows, my 'right-one' will somehow be a person that sit infront me at McD someday... hahaha~ berangan sangat

P/s: maaf, jangkaan seperenggan dua tu tak tercapai... hehehe~

XOXO,

uknoWho

It's about T.I.M.E

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day guys...

so, i'm busy with my assignments and few stuffs..

spend my free time at McD.. and for granted la kan for sure..

they supply the best internet connection kot..

so, yeah, trying to write some...

what's wrong with time..

well, i saw something previously..

maybe it doesn't mean anything to u.. but it means a lot to me.. 

like too deep..

without realizing, years gone...

 felt like just yesterday i'd golek2 on the field with my friends.. 

but now, try to do so, confirm kena halau dengan polis bantuan UiTM.. hahaha~

2013 so short.. i nearly done nothing.. sedar tak sedar i'm turning 19.. 

19 kot... getting older... *sigh*

kawan2 semua makin besar.. dah ada dengar ura2 ada yang nak kawen..

like seriously, are they getting married too early or i'm the one who's getting older.. *double sigh*

my friends dah pecah2.. utara selatan barat timur semua ada... 

last year tak rasa sangat sebab majoriti still in matrik..

but after april, semua orang pakat selesai matrik and asasi..

and degree will start in september..

confirm2 lagi berpecah..

semua pakat blajar laen2.. 

dulu semua belajar sama je.. BM, BI, Math, Science..

ulang la subjek2 ni dari kecik cinonet form 1 sampai la tak berapa kecik form 5

sekarang, bila tanya...

ada yang asasi sains (bakal2 doktor lettew)

ada yang memang tengah study medic.. (my ex-classmate..wooooo~)

ada yang tengah bertapa kat UTP... 

(budak2 engine.. yg krja gali minyak pun ada...hehehe~)

ada yang tengah foundation bagai...

 ( yang ni tak layan local.. pakat nak terbang ramai2.. budak2 pandai ni..)

yang reramai dekat matrik... 

(yang ni tatau mana diorang nak pi.. tapi bdak2 pndai ni)

macam2 ar kawan wa blaja..

ada yang dulu ala2 knak2 riang je dlm dorm, skrg dah nak jadi nurse..

ada yg dulu asyik injured je, semedang berbalut, skrg dia blaja cara ajar orang bejalan.. (eh, betol ke.. ke aku yang memandai??) hehehe

ada yang dulu merempit ngan skuter, pembekal maggi utama, sekarang dah boleh jadi calon isteri terbaik, ustazah pun blh gak...bangga ada kawan camni..

senang kata, semua dah ada jalan sendiri..

waktu zaman sekolah, tak terbayang everything will be like this..

buat budak2 sekolah, appreciate your school life..

like seriously, u gonna miss it.

i miss it

miss it a lot..

i did lot of mistakes back then.. 

so, since you guys still have time, dengar my words ni ye adik2...(ecehhh~)

if u feel annoyed with your teachers, don't be.. how much u hate them, how much u can't understand, try to be a good student..

in my case, i did sometime hate few teachers.. i thought they're not a good teacher.. i can't understand what the heck they're teaching infront and choose to ignore them..

but now, i hate myself because i'm the one who don't put enough effort to understand what they're teaching..

i'd met so many kind of teachers.. they've their own charm..

budak lelaki slalu kena sepak dgn sir vijan kan.. and most of them hate it kan..

well, don't hate him because u're gonna miss him the most..

yang perempuan x penah kena sir vijan.. so, i'm jealous with boys actually..

ada yang tak suka cikgu Kucai..

don't hate him.. he's such a nice man... like a father at one point...

ada yang takut dengan Miss Liz..

i did.. i'm so scared at first.. like super scared.. but hey, she's one of the best English teacher i'd ever knew..

when she asked u to speak in English, it's quite annoying isn't it.. 

but believe me, it'll help u a lot in your uni life.. same goes to me..

if u hate your BM teachers, don't hate them.. they're the best teachers u would ever have..

they really are.. i know some of them.. they are not your teacher.. they are your mothers..

so, actually, dah jauh tersasar sebenarnya..hehehe~

nawaitu nak tulis just nak kata, i'm getting older, tu je.. hahaha..

tiba2 emosi terlebih kejap tadi..

and, bila dapat cerita pasal Anand, lagi terasa makin tua...hahaha..

hahaha... yup, anand datang sekolah.. bagi motivasi kat bebudak..

jangan salah sangka, i don't have any crush on him or whateva it is.. just respect him as a friend and he is a successful person and an excellent student.. bukan nak puji lebih , but he is...

dapat cerita dia datang sekolah, terasa diri makin dewasa... 

entah berapa tahun nanti, datang semua pakat dah kerja..

cikgu jemput kami na, insyaAllah, yang datang semua doktors, engineers, cikgu, nurse, pakar2, lawyer, biz person, architects, and so much more... insyaAllah..

orang2 yang cikgu boleh banggakan, and u can always said that those guys are your students..

insyaAllah..

pray for us..

pray for me..

May God bless us..

still in that mood tho.. hehehe.. sorry.. i do need time...

i wrote a lot don't i.. hahaha... sekali sekala lepas rindu menulis..

so, live your precious life guys..

till we meet..

insyaAllah..

P/s : Song of the month : Titanium

XOXO,

uknoWho

It's 15...

Assalamualaikum and hye =)

dah lama sangat tak buat post..

I'm so sorry...

my life sangat sangat sangat hectic.. 2nd sem of asasi year seem so short..

abundant of assignments, tests and quizzes and so much more..

plus few things happened..

so, the time to write on this blog tak kunjung tiba..

so, curi kejap masa.. just to write something...

people asked me so many Qs... ada yg tak sempat dibalas pun..

jadi, dikesempatan ini, izinkan saya menjawab few of them.. ecehhh~ hehehe

first Q, how are u?

i'm fine.. tq for asking.. i'm surviving..

2nd Q, what exactly happen to your life these days?

Many things happened.. biasa la.. dalam life ada ups and downs..

3rd, menyesal tak?

of course tak..

4th, where are u going afterwards?

not sure yet, few months back, i did made few plans, but now, kena ubah skit kot.. hehehe... macam tak brape kena je plan tu..

5th, how's Asasi life?

one word. HORRIBLE

6th, after habis asasi nak buat apa?

not sure yet.. but most probably kawen... hahaha.. dah nak tau sangatkan.. ambek...

7th, don't u missed?

Always..

8th, and who are u talking about up there?

Him..

9th, who?

Ma Bro

10th, till when?

Till the end... life is fair and square.. God plans it well..who said life will end with happily ever after.. u don't need to be with to be happy.. 

 appreciating is more than enough..

11th, why is it the title like that?

Because it's 15th.. yesterday.. and yup, i count.. still counting..

12th, still? even after all things happened?

There's no reason for me to stop..

Any last words?

Life is not something to be regret with.. life is something to be proud of.. 

put colors into your life, and remember BLACK is a color too..

head up, strengthen your heart, be strong

everything gonna be ok..

let time heal everything..

and one more thing, i miss my sis the most...

and few things changed..

example, i prefer study in McD now.. i'm not sure why..

tapi dah jadi macam regular customer kat McD sec.7 tu..

nak cari wa senang je..

lu datang ar jumaat or weekend..

memang wa overnight sana..

agak2 bosan, teman wa study law... hahaha... acah je..

so, bila dah dok lama kat sana, mula la berangan macam2..

i really wish someone will accompany me study there.. like study together..

enjoy hot choc together...

maen pas2 sticky notes..

ok, mlalut... hahaha.. hasil bacaan novel Melayu secara berterusan.. *sigh*

but seriously, i really wish i can do that..

ingat nak buat sem lepas.. tapi masing2 sibuk..

nak continue this sem, but somehow, things happened, tak sempat..

wish i have more time because there're things that are still not done yet..

make me feels incomplete.. tergantung..

insyaAllah, ada rezeki i'll finish it up..

a promise..

at least i still got 18 wishes to be granted..

so yeah... thats all..

do take care...

drive carefully...

take care with your hearts guys..

live your life

and last but not least, pray for my study, my exam, may i passed my final with flying colours, may Allah ease the process and journey to there.. 

may my dream come true this year, may my heart be stronger..

pray that everything will be on the track like old days back..

i never loose hope, and you too.. don't..

XOXO,

uknoWho

When things meant to be..

Hi...

sometimes, things are meant to be that way..

whether they're bad, whether they're good..

They're meant to be that way..

so, no matter how loud u laugh, how hard u cry, how wide your smile, how deep u regret,

as they're meant to be that way, there'll be no way to change it..

as a normal human, i'm hurt...

people see me as a strong person..

i am..

but somehow, when it's hurting too much, u just wish that it's just a bad dream, and pray the best to wake up.

being hurt is not an option...

but u always have the option whether to hurt people or not..

so, referring to the case of Me v That Person [2014], involving the Law of Feeling, it meant to be that way..

There're lot of damages..

There is defence that can be use, but not even partial..

erm, obviously, violating the Principle of Natural Justice...

*sorry for explaining the case in law mode.. 

so, yeah... people make mistakes.. and as the person that have the cause of action, i don't ask for any damage..

i still got monsters under my bed, but yours, i don't think so...

so yeah, beside all this sadness, many things happen.. the good things..

 and i think, it's meant to be tht way.

i made a decision before..

i'll be going..

and surprisingly, a lot earlier than i thought..

where i'l be going? 

when am i going?

why am i going?

let it be a secret for this moment..

there's no point to share it now..

bukan ada nak hantar ke, menyambut ke, melawat pun kan..

so yeah... until that day, that time, that moment, let just God know it..

HE know better than anyone..

am i running away from problems?

at this moment, honestly, yup.. i am running.. for a while..

but then, i'm going for good reasons too..

trying to reach the best future..

just pray the best for me.. for my future..

May Allah ease all the process..

owh, people kept asking whether i regret whatever just happened..

i'll never regret..

but yeah, frustration always there..

there's nothing to regret for..

it's part of my life.. part of the memories..

it just happened to be like that...

and people yang keep asking me whether i'm ok or not..

don't worry eh, i'll always be a strong person..

or at least i'll try to be one.

sorry buat siapa yang tidak faham..

it just something that i need to write down, to let me feel a lil bit better..

and dear mama and ayah, 

thank u for being the best parent ever...

even though i never share these kind of things with u guys,

but still, u're trying to make me laugh..

for this moment, i still cant.. but one day, i will.. again..

don't worry if i always not feeling well...

don't worry if i'm not in the mood..

don't worry if i'm getting 'cengkung'..

don't worry if i sound so weird..

your lil girl here, is starting to be a lady..

thank u..

and last but not least, Aina Asyran, thank u so much.. for everything..

things are getting harder for me.. don't worry, i'll be just fine..

i'm surviving..

i'm not sure whether u'll miss me or not afterward (hehehe...)

 but surely i'll miss u a lot girl.. 

we're getting into so much distance..

u'll be a lady when i meet u afterward..

whatever it is, aku sayang ang wei.. 

so guys, just live your life..

life did get so hard sometimes, but it is life after all kan..

hold on a bit.. u'll be just fine..

think positive..

and yup, best of luck..

XOXO,

uknoWho

The Beginning...

Assalamualaikum wbt...

this should not be a sad post tho..

hehehe~ it's supposed to be inspiring...

so, here it goes..

yup, something did happen..

and my life went crazy for a while..

tunggang terbalik kejap..

but after a while, i realized, i can't do anything if i'm behaving like this..

so, i make a decision..

and i'm proud i took that decision.

i'm not regretting..

i'll never regret...

tak de sebab nak regret dengan benda yang buat diri jadi lebih baik kan..

i believe that time will heal everything.. insyaAllah..

let me improve myself first..

let me be a better person first..

let me get some achievements first..

i'm not sad..

i'm happy..

this is the time to take a look at what happen back then, and simply do a better one in the future.

Life goes on..nothing will ever change.. that's what i can promise u

so yeah, i'll be just fine here...

i'll be a successful lawyer

 ( insyaAllah since my MUET result is more than i expected..hehehe)

we'll see how our future look like..

remember this..

whatever problems happen in your life, face it with courage...

when u feel u're stuck in your life, go back to your family, 

they're the best to be with

when u feel sick, be strong, u'll be just fine..

if u feel, u're alone, don't worry, there'll be always someone for u..

if u feel so down, don't worry, u have your mummy and ayah..

they know what to do..

when u think your mummy don't love u, jangan nak merepek.. 

she loves u more than anything...

when u feel so tired, just take a rest, nothing to loose..

when u feel your life is lifeless, don't worry..

 God put it in that way for a reason..

and the most important is, when u're driving, please be careful.. 

anda tak kawen pun lagi.. taknak kahwen kah.. hehehe~

Don't worry, i'm a strong girl..u led me to be one.. i'll be just fine..

 don't worry.. this is not the end.. this is the beginning 

be strong, be brave, happy always..

good luck young man.

good luck to both of us.

XOXO,

Ira

In The Midst of Hardship

Assalamualaikum.. hye guys..

Sorry.. i'm supposed to post bout my last vacation kan.. but i'm so busy..

 life have been so complex and so hard these days.. 

so.. i don't even have time to write some..

i'm so sorry..

this sem really bad.. like terribly bad.. start dengan demam teruk.. 

fever for days..assignment bertimbun-timbun and so many more problems..

i almost lost my grip..

i almost quit all this crap..

everything sangat sangat susah..

and being sakit make it even worst..

and both of us really busy, didn't have opportunity to meet each other pun..

and this make it even harder..

i tried to be strong..

but somehow, being weak is not an option..

i don't get enough sleep..

i loss my appetite...

i can't even think properly..

dizzy for no reason..

can't stand the cold..

one of my hardest weeks..

i cried everyday..

i sighed everyday..

i slept 2,3 hours per day..

i'm totally tired..

mentally

physically..

but...

Thank You Allah swt..

for the give..

the best parent in the world.. (tq ayah and mama)

the best friend i could ever get..( tq asyran, my girls from last sem and ji)

the best someone i could ever imagine..(him)

thank u guys for your supports..

for your dua'

thank u.. 

i believe that the best solution is by believing yourself...

u can do it..

i'm being a strong girl right now.. i'm proud of myself...

and anda,

thank u for your comforting words,

for your encouraging word,

for believing in me..

thank u for being there..

thank u for being my someone..

Missing me missing u,

Ira