Closing...

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye...

It'd been so long since the last time i wrote a post.. in the middle of final..

quite busy.. ni pun curi2 masa to write something in the middle of the night..

so yeah, how's my life...

tahla.. i'm not sure how to describe.. 

i'm not happy, i'm not sad, i'm hurt, i'm frustrated..

can i say it as soul-less...

things and things happened.. bad things...

it's getting harder and harder each time...

i believe in one, i'm frustrated...

 then i believe in another one, and i'm frustrated again.. 

and i believe in another one, hoping that it'll be different, but somehow, i realize, people are just the same..

in the end, i don't care about anything anymore..

i don't believe in anything...

when u need, u try to be as close as u can.. 

when u don't need, just pretend u never know them..

hehehe.. 

i keep thinking, 'Why is this world works this way. 

People keep hurting one another.

but, i have to admit, that's how life works..

whether it's about love, about friendship, about life, about people around u...

when u're making the decision to let them step into your life, remember, u're also permitting them to hurt you...

that's how life works..

so, i'm not against the world..

i'm just too tired..

too tired to be strong... too tired to be soul-less..

and now, let me close it, for a while..

once, i almost close it, but someone ask me to open up, so that, i don't have to live alone..

but somehow, the same person make me want to close it again..

close it tightly...

i'm not the only one.. people around are hurting as much as i am..

because of the same kind of people..

individu berbeza...

latar belakang berbeza...

hubungan berbeza..

yang sama hanya dua..

jantina..

dan luka..

maka, pintu itu aku tutup..

sementara..

sampai ketika..

orang berbeza...

aku buka...

everynight, before i went to sleep, i keep thinking, there're so many things i want to do back then, but i never get the chance..

after a while, i said to my heart...

' Ira, plans u made back then, God don't let it happen, not because He don't want to let u experience it, but He's making u to experience it with the right person, in the right moment..so, hold on a little bit more. Create your best happy ending with the best person to be with'

hopefully, i'll get the chance to do so.. 

if i meant to with the same person, i'll be blessed... 

deep inside, i'm still waiting... with hope..

i believe, every person deserve second chance..

but, if it's not you, if it's other person, thank you for entering my life..

i can't ask for anything better..

you'll be my happy-ever-after...

live your life..

XOXO,

SyeraZehar