Know Who You Really Are...

Assalamualaikum wbt and hello people..

To write this post, is so damn hard for me.. why?

 because writing from your heart is the same meaning as confessing...

Before, i felt so secure because i know, he'll be there...

 He's always there to hear me babbling all over small things that can't even named as a problem...

I always complain about my study, my home-sick, my dreams, my so-much-more...

and he tend to hear everything..

I think he always heard all these words...even after midnight..

' Nak tido..."

' Nak balik rumah..."

" I hate my lecturer..."

''I'm hungry.."

" i miss....."

There's always these words...but he never sighed ...

sometime, it's kind of funny to think of how we can talked for hours almost everyday without feeling bored and still, filled with laugh and joy...

At first, i'm scared to reveal the real me... i did, but not fully... 

Syahirah at school is way too different then the real Syahirah..

After few time passed, he started to ask me...

 why are you not being yourself fully..

each time u meet me, u're still kind of shy somehow.. 

don't worry.. just be yourself...

Time by time, i'm being me, and he's being him..

I can join him singing in the car.. 

I can tell him what i felt that day..

I can tell him stories of my family..

Story of me in my toddler's years..

and he also shared the same thing..

Kadang-kadang it's kind of weird when my friends said that our conversation sound cute, but hey, it's not cute la, it's fun... 

I always know that he'll be there...

 sometimes, i'm being paranoid... afraid of loosing..

and each time i tell him bout my worries, he'll always said, 

"Don't worry..it'll not happen.. i'll always be your abang kan"

and somehow, those words never fail to comfort my feeling..

Unfortunately, cuti sem sebulan setengah is too long.. 

The distance is too much..

It's too hard for me..and maybe for him too.. both of us feel it..

teringat pulak the story of the bolster and the teddy bear....

Before this, i always think that he'll always be there..

but this distance taught me, how much i need him..

and how much this distance effect on me...

These days taught me so many things...

Make me think again, the way i treat him...

All my faults and so on...

I know and i believe, i do need him..

I'm praying the best of us...

Remember our good days before...

I know we can work this out...

Trust me, trust us..

Thank you for letting me know the real me..

for changing be to a better one..

I'm so sorry.. I miss u..

Thank you... for leading me in your own way...

The one who miss u a lot,

Ira